Fuck Yeah Demetri Martin!
The shortest distance between two idiots is a conga line
Demetri Martin (via cuuhhlaire)
It’s a little ironic that one thing a babysitter cannot do is sit on a baby
An ex-girlfriend is the same as an okay movie. I liked it at the time but I don’t want to see it again… Especially if the movie is kind of a bitch.
Demetri Martin
(via carmellalosi)