I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because...
makeamesslioness-deactivated201 asked: What's this from?
Demetri Martin signs CBS comedy deal →
Exclu: Actor-comedian Demetri Martin could join CBS’ comedy lineup. The Daily Show veteran has signed a deal with the network to write, produce and star in his own project. The agreement is a blind script deal, so there’s no word yet what the project will be about. Martin’s off-kilter, younger-skewing sensibilities are right in line with the network’s current...
I was in this building the other day, and I saw a...
narcissistic-tendencies: And on the door, it said “This door must remain closed at all times.” And I was like, “Dude, you’re thinking of wall.”
forestlessness asked: Do you know where I can find Demetri Martin gif's?
arisutiramisu asked: When I found out this tumblr existed, I just about died.
Thank you. So much. <3
Thank you. So much. <3
Demetri Martin blog
This might help you out with your dm news! http://demetrimartin.wordpress.com/ signed a deal with CBS for new show yaay (Submitted by myfavoritecomedians) You rule for sending this in! Thank you!!!
(submitted by maverickk)
I think the best time to be in an earthquake is...
(Submitted by maverickk)
I want to launch a globe into space, just to mess with astronauts....– Demetri Martin (via jerrycantrell-)
me vs. you
maverickk: me: gravity you: old lady’s tits
Why are there no positive mysteries?
It’s always like: “Who stole the diamond?” or “Who killed the butler?” How about “Hey! Who made cookies?” (Submitted by invadersmustdie)
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize.’ Except at a funeral.– Demetri Martin (via tenrec4tea)
I like clothes, you know. I dig fabrics. One of my favorite clothing patterns is...– Demetri Martin (via tenrec4tea)
I saw a sign on this door. It said, ‘Exit Only.’ So I entered it, and I went to...– Demetri Martin (via rockandrollrefugee)
If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say,...– (via girlinthemoon)
blairwitchwaldorf asked: I went to see him in NYC last weekend and he said there won't be a season 3 of Important Things :/ He actually said "Maybe I'll make a new show. About something less important. Maybe just Things with Demetri Martin." Hahaha.
icicleparty asked: do you know when the new season starts?
ever wonder if illiterate people get the full...
he is so great