September 2010
24 posts
August 2010
24 posts
I think an eating contest is really just the...
(via deadbeatspencer)
“Whenever I meet somebody who has a kid, they have to show me a photo of their...”
– Demetri Martin (via emilicarter)
sjuhye:
“I think vests are all about...
“I’m afraid of sharks, but only in a water situation. Like, if I saw a shark on the street, I’d be like, ‘WHAT?! FUCK YOU!’ That’s the opposite of how I am with lions.”
(Submitted by crazyluvr)
“If you have a pear-shaped body, you should not wear pear coloured clothes. Or...”
– Demetri Martin (via asecretmeeting)
“I was riding the escalator, and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour...”
– (via antontobias86)
“I love video games, but they’re very violent. I wanna design a video game in...”
– (via antontobias86)
“I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together. People will say...”
– (via antontobias86)
“Why are there never positive mysteries? It’s always like, “Who stole the...”
– Demetri Martin (via borndancing)
“I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.”
– Demetri Martin (via parakeetwednesday)
