100% of the people who give 110% do not understand math.– Demetri Martin, This is a Book (via oliveswind)
If you’re a battery, you’re either working or you’re dead. Shit life.– Demetri Martin (via oliviaisthebomb)
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.– Demetri Martin (via stevepethel)
I want to make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it...– Demetri Martin (via stevepethel)
It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy:
angryflamingo: Location, location, location.
I just feel like there’s a parallel world right in front of us that’s revealed...– Demetri Martin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eeMLqZB1Q&NR=1&feature=endscreen watch all the parts (via morganisthenewblack)